A Week in Gaming 2nd Quest #12: 3/20 – 3/26

As of writing this, it is still Sunday so I technically get in before the start of Monday! My Spring Break went by really quick even with the homework I had. Hung out with friends more than I have in the past couple of weeks and I gained a lot of games. Two review titles, Post Apocalyptic Mayhem for PC and Vertigo for PSP via PSN, and the 14 games within Steam’s Sega Genesis Classics Collection that aren’t in the Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection make for 16 new games. In contrast, I’ve got two completed games and one beaten game. One completed game is in fact the prior-mentioned Post Apocalyptic Mayhem, whose review will be up on Snackbar Games sometime this week. The other two are an RPG I promised to write about and something completely different.

The one I promised I’d write about is Final Fantasy VIII. I’ve been working on finishing this game to 100% since January and have sunk 75 or so hours into it. At times this has been a tedious and boring chore while at other times I genuinely enjoyed this very divisive entry of the Final Fantasy series. Where five years ago I would claim this game didn’t exist in the series because of how bad it was, my game philosophy now made me give FF8 the benefit of doubt and a fair attempt through the entirety of it.

First and foremost: the plot both confused and irritated me. Sans the Laguna segments, the entire first disc seemed more science fiction in genre and fit well with the feel that I felt the game tried to give. As soon as the second disc hit, everything went up into what could be equivalent to a fantasy grounded deep in Squall’s mind. So many things within the plot didn’t seem to make sense, came out of left field, or felt so forced that I longed for the first disc again. Without going into too much detail: Rinoa, Time Compression, Ellone, NORG, the Orphanage, being leader of Balamb, Edea and Cid, Sorceresses. It’s vulgar, but honestly? What the fuck. Just what the fuck.

The Laguna segments in particular felt extremely forced and were always short. I had more fun as Laguna, Kiros and Ward than I did at any point in the rest of the game. I loved all three of them; Laguna and his derpy antics with a machine gun, Kiros’s calm and smooth demeanor and those deadly katar, and big ol’ Ward with his giant harpoon. Plus, the battle music (video above) is excellent.

I honestly enjoyed the GF system, with the Draw, Junction and item mechanics. Having random drops mean more than just acting as a useless battle item, or a silly piece of trash, it really brought items into more of a focus. This did allow for severely overpowering oneself in the first disc, but that was only on the basis of pursuing it. I found the GF and Junction systems obsessive to set up just how I wanted them and spent hours of that time Drawing magic that I didn’t possess. I also liked how enemies scaled in level with you, making every encounter worth something somehow. And if they weren’t, good ol’ Diablos and his Enc-None ability were there to back me up.

Now, this might be a bit controversial, but I have to be honest: I don’t really care for Triple Triad. I find Tetra Master to be a superior card game and I loved playing that more than the entirety of which I played Triple Triad during my run through FF8. I know that playing cards is completely optional, but where I went for a Completion file, or 100%, collecting all the cards became a requisite. A masochistic, bullcrap, completely obtuse and painful requisite. To start: FUCK THE RULES. Open and Trade: All, Diff, One. These should have been the only rules in the game. Random is a nightmare, Elemental, Same, Plus, and Same/Wall do nothing but make the game more frustrating and unfair, and all of them together with Sudden Death caused hair to be removed from my scalp. It was that infuriating.

 

Want 100% in FF8? Prepare to suffer with this for hours.

Then you’ve got the way to get the cards that require being made by the Card Queen’s father. Not only do you have to purposely lose a card to her, but she has to move to Dollet. If you don’t save scumm and force her to bounce between Dollet and Balamb, you face the possibility of chasing this bitch around the world losing and gaining cards from her until her psychotic ass is back at Dollet, giving you access to the next card in this side-quest. But that was manageable thanks to a very very very very helpful guide I found as a result of dealing with General Carraway (who as soon as the second disc hit became nonexistent in the plot). I needed to lose Ifrit to him (instead of y’know, just giving him the card I suppose?) so he’d play his Rinoa card. This is the only way to get the Rinoa card. When Deling City is stuck with the Random rule, this makes purposely losing certain cards incredibly hard and I spent hours going back and forth between Deling and other areas to get rid of the rule… to no success. Then I looked up help, and found an RNG (random number generator) abusing guide that would guarantee results. In less than five minutes, Random was abolished. I worked the Card Queen to nigh-perfection and she never left Balamb and Dollet.

The point behind all of that? This sidequest, the way to get these cards, and dealing with the bullshit rules was by far the most tedious and least fun part of the game I dealt with. This even overrides the rage and confusion I had at the plot, amongst other things. I also didn’t enjoy hunting down random obscure items for the sake of upgrading my weapons. It just seemed incredibly cheap to force me to hunt for hours (if I was uninformed) for random rare items that would give me access to stronger weapons. Disregarding the fact that outside of Lion Heart and Strange Vision’s 255% hit rate the weapons were useless, it just felt cheesy and thrown in for sake of being frustrating.

So I hated the plot, I hated the card game and everything attached, and I hated upgrading the weapons. I enjoyed the gameplay and combat system and the ways in which one would power-up their characters. As for those characters themselves? In statements:

• Squall: Whiny introverted moron who I’m convinced fabricated 75% of the plot as a wet dream when Edea spiked him.
• Riona: Irritating but had a solid character in the first disc, then became a forced love attraction to Squall and lost all semblance of meaning.
• Zell: Dude, your tattoo is ridiculous and stupid. You’re a derp otherwise and I enjoyed you at times, but that tattoo HAS to go.
• Irvine: I barely used or paid attention to you, so you just seemed like an archtypical “girl-loving cowboy”.
• Selphie: Spunky, energetic, and containing a trace of malevolent violence? This is a good female sidekick.
• Quistis: Smart, attractive, experienced compared to everyone above, badass whip, Blue Magic user… this is the heroine here, not Rinoa.
• Seifer: White trash douchebag.
• Raijin: Annoying, ya know?!
• Fujin: FORGETTABLE.
• Cid: You stole the FH leader’s name, you Robin Williams knock-off.
• Edea: Had a solid purpose as a villain… then disc 3 hit and suddenly you no longer mattered.
• Laguna, Kiros, Ward: As I said before, some of the best characters in the game.
• NORG: Where did you come from and where the hell did you go?!
• Ellone: I didn’t realize a plot-device item would be able to exist as a character.

Everyone else? Forgettable to some degree. Much like the plot, or the bullshit parts of the game. All of this probably explains why Final Fantasy VIII is so divisive between people who love it and hate it. Despite its shortcomings, I did genuinely enjoy this title and I’m glad to finally take down a quest that was originally set in motion over a decade ago when I first played the demo. For those who have yet to play this I recommend it. Give it a chance. It’s not the best in the series, but it is hardly deserving of all the biased and shallow flak people give it.

The other game this week? One that will be written about in as much length as the game actually was to play: Donald Duck: Goin’ Quackers. Out of all the versions though, I’m specifically discussing the PlayStation 2 version. Somehow, this game has copies on the Game Boy Color, the PlayStation, DreamCast, Nintendo 64, Game Boy Advance, Windows PC and GameCube. While the 2D and 3D versions differ greatly, the PS2 version can be summed up in one statement: A Crash Bandicoot clone.

I’ll admit that I have a huge soft spot for Donald, Gyro, Scrooge, and the nephews. I loved both DuckTales games and the cartoon should have been a part of my childhood. This is partly why I can’t really hate Goin’ Quackers for being a short ripoff of another established franchise. Honestly, this game actually manages to hold up rather well with its gameplay. The controls seemed responsive and well-made, the pacing was rather quick and stages gave reason for replay.

One inherent problem I had with this gameplay were the trademark Bandicoot stages that have the perspective more akin to racing than a platformer. That is, platforming from a perspective where you’re behind Donald and looking over his shoulder. Running forward means just that: you are running forward. This is what most of the 14 stages consist of. Those that do not either flip the perspective and make you run towards the screen (and away from a ripoff of Master Hand), or have the tried-and-true sidescrollig that platformers. Running away from the screen or towards it gave me an incredible problem with depth perception, and to add to that the lack of shadows for several things resulted in one too many deaths that could have been easily avoided.

Saving was frequent and stages were diverse enough to where it the game didn’t feel tedious or repetitious. But the problem that did persist is that the game and all 14 stages (plus 4 bosses) were really short. Starting from the beginning, with many many deaths, it took me two and a half hours to beat Donald Duck: Goin’ Quackers. Granted I didn’t do replays to get the extra collectables the game offered, but when the core experience of your game is that short and lacking it leaves that experience wanting and shallow. Despite my love for the Ducks there just wasn’t enough here worth remembering and it felt like a cheap clone  used by Disney to generate a few bucks. Where I rode a wave of good feelings for prior Disney games, such as those two DuckTales titles, this blatant Crash Bandicoot ripoff just doesn’t seem to be worth the time you spend considering if you’ll pick it up or not.

If nothing else, I did have a bit of fun streaming it, and I’m more interested in trying out the Game Boy Color or Game Boy Advance versions of the title now to see how they stack up to their 3D counterparts. If you’re looking for a cheap Disney experience, I could recommend this… but only at a really cheap price.

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That’s all for me this week, folks. Look out for that Post Apocalyptic Mayhem review dropping this week at Snackbar Games. Where I return to normal classes and coursework, my progress might slow a bit, although if today’s two completions alone say anything I might have another giant post at the start of April. Until then, keep gaming! o/